Today I was really dysphoric and didn’t even know if I could make it to class. To make matters worse, a teacher misgendered me and sent me into a panic attack. She later apologized, and I’m really glad she did, but it ruined my day. My dysphoria is really bad to the point where all my clothes bother me- even things like color can make me dysphoric. I was wearing this light grey hoodie that always makes me feel shitty. I’m not entirely sure why, but it just seems feminine to me, even though I got it from the men’s section at H&M. I think because I see everything little thing as gendered, that it’s hard to see anything on myself as masculine because I perceive others as reading me as female. Even if I saw a cis-guy wearing the same thing, once I was wearing it, I wouldn’t see it as a masculine outfit. I wish T was making more noticeable changes because maybe this clothing/ body dyphoria would be more manageable. Luckily, I was able to go get a new hoodie and I felt much better about it this time.